


The Yogurt Affair

by Anonomeis



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Bickering, Explosions, F/M, Kissing, Meihem zine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 02:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11750256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonomeis/pseuds/Anonomeis
Summary: Mei's got a problem with her temper. Junkrat wants to help. Naturally, there are explosions, of more than one variety.





	The Yogurt Affair

**Author's Note:**

> Mei's New Year's Resolution was to work on her temper, while Junkrat's was to travel more. Knowing him, his was likely sarcastic.
> 
> Thanks to Reaper-Botherer for the beta.
> 
>  
> 
> This is related to First, Not Worst. As in it preceeds it. I tried to make a sequel in this universe, but it promptly turned into OT3. Oops.

There was always that one coworker. The one who used to be a criminal, and who kept walking around shirtless, just leaving his ridiculous amount of abs to distract anyone from their figures and data. The one who kept making quips in meetings, who could never seem to sit still.

And even worse, he'd gone and eaten her yogurt. And blown up the bathroom--though it was the men's bathroom, so it hadn't affected her so much.

Still, who even did that?

Jamison Fawkes, more commonly known as Junkrat, the coworker from hell, that's who. From the sharp angular nature of his face, to his slender muscled body, he certainly fit the description. Especially the hot as hell part. Because, ahem, he was constantly catching on fire. Not for any reason. Really.

Mei sighed and tossed her papers aside. There was no working now. She was far too fired up. The image of those empty containers in the sink still made her pace with irritation, even hours later.

She left her office, and went through the metallic corridors of Overwatch. Then, to speak of the devil, she heard a throat clear behind her. She turned back to see him. He had such a stupid grin on his face, like he was thinking of some bad pun to mock her with.

Bad puns were _her_ thing, dammit. The sheer fact that he'd tried to use them against her just to torment her was an insult to dad jokes everywhere.

"A little bird that you were looking for a way to keep your temper in check," Junkrat said.

She gritted her teeth. "Who told you? Tracer?"

"Well, she _is_ a little bird," Junkrat said, and burst out laughing.

She didn't laugh, but that didn't seem to stop him. He'd laugh twice as hard at his own jokes. He didn't seem to have any sense of _shame_. That'd explain how he just ran around shirtless, like other people weren't trying to focus on work and not mentally distracted by thoughts of licking his chest.

Not her, of course. But other people. Surely someone else, who was definitely not her, was busy looking at their temperature data and constantly dogged by thoughts of those hands, that chest, _that tongue._

His voice cut through her reasoning.

"And Snowflake, have I got news for you. I can show you the best way to work on that temper. You'll find all that stress goes up like- _poof_."

Mei narrowed her eyes. It took quite a bit to make her look imposing, especially to someone who towered over, but she squared her shoulders and did her best. She suspected she came off more as _tiny and angry schoolmarm_ than anything else.

"So what if I want to work on my temper? That doesn't mean I'm going to stop being angry at you. You ate all my yogurt! Every single last one. They were _limited edition_. What kind of no good bully steals someone else's food? How can you even stand to look at yourself you no-good _food stealer!_ "

Junkrat tapped his lip with his finger thoughtfully. "I don't---Oh, that was yours? Whoops. That'd explain the vendetta. Yogurt theft sure is one hell of a crime, way more than all the other stuff I stole for sure..."

She grimaced. "You come in here, you call me stupid nicknames and then you steal my lunch and mock me for being angry. You...you're a complete jerk! Why are you even talking to me?"

Junkrat took a step back. She could swear his contrite look had an edge of sarcasm to it. Then again, it was Junkrat; he was always a little sarcastic. "Aww, damn. Let me start over. I didn't mean to eat your food. I didn't know it was even yours," Junkrat said.

She crossed her arms. "Would that have even stopped you? Besides, it had _my name_ on it."

"Written on the bottom. Who looks at the bottom before they eat yogurt?"

Mei let out a sigh. Apparently she'd have to put a flashing marquee and several signs to mark off _her_ food from getting eaten. Who knew how long it would be until Vanilla Snowball Swirl came back? It could be a whole year, or more. She hadn't even gotten a single bite, and she'd so been looking forward to it. As silly as it sounded, she thought it tasted like eating sparkles. Like the feeling she got when she saw glimmering snowflakes on a moonlit night. But without the potential for frostbite.

"Fine. Tell me what it is."

Junkrat burst into a big smile."Okay, first, you get the dynamite..."

Mei lifted her brows. "Dynamite?"

"Trust me on this. Nothing feels better than a nice boom. It's great stress relief. Though we'll have to go into the training grounds. Apparently blowing off firecrackers and dynamite in empty lots is _frowned upon_." He shook his head. "That was one hell of a culture shock, that was for damn sure. Back in Australia, everyone does it. But in here, it gets you arrested and is considered terrorism. Honestly, no wonder there's so much road rage if you can't even toss some firecrackers around without the police chasing after you."

She had been feeling wound up lately. Not even listening to smooth jazz would help undo all the restless tension. She had hoped her Vanilla Snowball Swirl would help ease the tension in her shoulders, the constant distractions by some loud teammate who really needed to put some clothes on so she could work.

"Then what?"

"Light the wick, then KA-BOOOM! There go all your worries, stresses, and eyebrow hair if you lean in too close. Also, might wanna keep those fingers away." He held up his metal hand meaningfully.

She could flip him off and tell him to get lost. She could go back to her figures, her stress, her loneliness. Or, just maybe, she could blow it all away. If making bad choice with illegal explosives was what it took to cool down, then she'd at least give it a try.

"Fine," she said. "But we'll take it to the training room."

"All they've got there are holograms," Junkrat said. "It doesn't really have that satisfying feel when the shrapnel goes all ker-plooie."

"And it's explosion-proof," she said.

"I guess it would be kind of _rude_ to blow the place sky-high," Junkrat said.

Mei nodded. " _Very_ rude."

The room in question had an absurdly high ceiling, and was covered in smooth metallic plates. If she so wanted, she could change the holograms to reflect anything she wanted. A quiet nature scene, an arctic wasteland, or even a summer fair.

But today, she left it the same. She didn't discharge any training holograms. The only input she made in the console was to strengthen the blast shields to their maximum settings. She half-expected Junkrat to pull out a tiny nuclear bomb shaped like a goldfish, and probably named something like Bob or Mary.

"You ready, Snowflake?" Junkrat said.

"Hand me the dynamite," she said tersely.

"Here you go," he said.

She almost dropped the stick, as she realized it was on fire. With a rising sense of terror, she threw it as hard as she could. It exploded mid-air in a truly remarkable cloud of fire and clouds. She expected a modicum of sense, but what could be expected of a guy who just left his abs hanging out for everyone to see and be distracted by?

She turned on him, her face full of fury. "You handed it to me lit end first, and you lit it first! What kind of mean joke is this?"

"I guess you could say, I _jumped the gun,_ " Junkrat said. He grinned at his own quip.

"Don't you finger guns at me, I could've been killed!"

"Aww, chill out, Snowflake. I just got a little too eager and lit it early. It's a mistake anyone could make."

"And another thing! Who gave you the right to just up and call me nicknames?"

"I call everyone nicknames," Junkrat said. He counted off on his long fingers. "Roadie, Birdie, Hunk of Omnic Trash, Other Hunk of Omnic Trash, Literally Unfair Hunk of Omnic Trash, Flexo, Flexo: Pink Edition, Speedy, Jams, Angry Shooty Healer..."

Mei narrowed her eyes. "I have literally never heard you use those names until now."

"Made 'em up right now I did. Those are some prime nicknames, though. I should keep them."

"If you call Ana that, she'll shoot you in the head."

"She already does," Junkrat said. "Might as well give her a nice code name before she shoots my arse full of medicine again."

"I have a perfectly fine name," she said.

"Everyone uses nicknames, see. That way if you're pulled into a line up, you don't rat out somebody. That's why I go as Junkrat, and Roadie goes as Roadhog."

She stabbed a finger towards his chest. It probably would've been more impressive if she hadn't had to get on tiptoe to do so. "And you keep _mocking me_. Taking my jokes and using them to try and make me look silly."

"Who doesn't like a good joke? I was glad to see you had a nice sense of humor. Way too many serious types here, who wouldn't crack a joke if a gun was put to their head, and the only way they'd survive is if they completed a knock knock joke. Speaking of which, that's how Roadie and I met. Kind of a long story. The Russian mafia was there."

"I'm not laughing," she said.

He held out another stick of dynamite. This time, it was unlit.

"I think you need to blow off some more steam," Junkrat said. "You sound stressed. What you need is a good..."

She cut him off. "If you suggest Yoga, I'm going to eat _your_ yogurt!"

"Actually, I was going to suggest blowing up things, which is apparently the opposite of Yoga. Blow-ga, maybe. That could be a thing. Make a nice pose, and then _blow it all up again!_ " He burst into wild, knee-slapping laughter again.

This time, she didn't wait for him to pass the explosives. She reached up, with some effort, and pulled a stick from his chest. She threw it as hard as she could, except this time she forgot to light it. the stick rolled away harmlessly.

So much for her dramatic moment.

"Here, take another one, then aim for it. It'll be double the boom, and double the fun," Junkrat said. His grin was manic. This was ridiculous. He didn't even have a safety goggles on. Hell, he didn't even have a shirt, or proper gloves. Her Science teachers would've failed him just on that alone.

He flicked the lighter, and the tension rose as the seconds ticked down. She tossed the explosive as hard as she could. It soared through the air and landed just near the last attempt. Junkrat broke into a huge grin as the

The dynamite let out a satisfying crack and series of explosions. "Who do you think you are, running around half naked? You're like some soft-core porn star with all those stupid--" She blushed bright red. Mei hadn't meant to say _that_.

"Porn star?" Junkrat rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I never did try that kind of work, though I suppose it might pay well. One place that would actually hire somebody who's done time. Maybe they'd let me play cops and robbers," Junkrat said.

"That's what you got out of that rant? Really?"

"Well, it is a pretty drastic kind of word," he said.

"Oh, you want to see something drastic? Well, I'll show you!"

He was taller than her, but she grabbed the strap at his chest and pulled him down to her level. She hadn't seen him toss that last firecracker, but she sure heard it as the series of cracks cut through around them, matched to the thundering of her own heart. Her lips parted for a breath against him, but she wasn't finished yet. He was all too willing to deepen the kiss, his tongue quick against her lower lips. Even as she felt completely dazed, she still clung to him. A tingle and rush went through her whole body. Every unkind thought, every annoyance curled into a new translation. She stepped back for a breath. Had she really done that? The loopy grin on his face—and the fact that he had quite a bit of her lipstick all over his mouth—said yes.

"Well, that sure as hell was _explosive_ ," he said. He even made finger guns at her and everything.

"This....it was just the heat of the moment. It didn't mean...Oh, fuck it," she said and dragged him back for another kiss. This time, it wasn't an impulse, a wild idea come to life. It was just him and her, the heat between them crackling like a sparkler. She rested her palm across his chest. His heartbeat was so rapid beneath her palm.

"Well, did you mean that one, Mei?"

His name sounded so good across his lips, it made her want to kiss him again.

Her body had needs, ones she'd been ignoring for such a long time. No wonder she was so stressed, with her coworker running around half-naked and shooting puns at her like some kind of dad joke mating dance.

She turned, away, to hide her red cheeks. "When you said you'd teach me how to work on my temper, I didn't think it'd turn out like this," Mei said.

"Me either. I was just going to make some fires. I didn't know It'd get _red hot_. And we didn't even end up in the hospital with severe burns," Junkrat said.

"Yet," Mei said.

"Yet? That sounds like there's some kind of future. So maybe you don't hate me?" Junkrat said hopefully.

Maybe she did hate him a little, but it was the kind of hate that made her want to kiss him again. Which come to think of it, wasn't really _hate_ but something more like tension reflected inwards. Then, her getting angry at herself for the tension being there, like some elephant int he room which was juggling explosive little balls.

"You still owe me some yogurt," Mei said.

"Well, Snowflake, I'll be happy to."

"Good luck; it's limited edition."

"Right, now just to figure out how to get them to make it. Ooh, I bet explosions-"

"Junkrat," she said. "No robbing. No blackmail."

"Fine, I'll go legit. I'll... _make a petition_ , or something. Picket them to return Mei's ice cream. Bring back the endangered yogurt."

She smiled. "You _can_ say my name. That's two whole times. Apparently you do have some memory left," she said.

"Well, ain't that a right ray of sunshine," Junkrat said.

Mei puffed out her cheeks in annoyance."You're mocking me again, aren't you?"

"The exact opposite," Junkrat said. "You got a nice smile, is all. Along with the nice everything else."

"Well, you've got a nice...." She gestured with her hands. "A nice..."

Junkrat smiled mischievously."A nice arse?"

"Junkrat!"

He winked. "I'd take you out, and I don't mean the on the training field," A red light flashed above them. Her mind whirled to figure out what could've been tripped.

"Looks like our time is up. Catch you later, then."

He walked out, leaving her dazed and more than a little dizzy. She walked out with the sudden realization that somewhere along the line, the stress had considerably lessened. Apparently, the secret to relaxation wasn't Yoga, but setting off explosives and kissing a man with a questionable past. She'd have to file that away for later.

"I'll see you again soon," she said, though he had already gone down the hall. It was more to herself than anything. It wouldn't be long until she'd say it to his face. But for now, she just lingered in the moment, and the memories. She pulled off her gloves and pressed her fingers to her lips. They were still tender.


End file.
